Christmas Cavalcade 2016 (Part Four)

Here we go: the final instalment for this year.

Today’s Christmassy selection kicks off with British Comedian Ken Goodwin, star of 70s TV who, some of you may recall, scored a hit in 1972 with the sugary . Well, in 1979 our Ken released a Christmas album – Merry Christmas Darling– and revisited his seven year old hit, rerecording a festive version replete with sleigh bells and creepy child. The result is even worse than the original. Hurrah!

Nothing quite says Christmas like an album from a ganja smoking albino reggae singer, does it? Next up, from his 2003 release A Very Very Yellow Christmas, here’s Yellowman (a.k.a. Winston Foster) with We Wish You a Reggae Christmas. It's not great, but when you consider that the man lost half of his face to cancer in 1986 it's a surprise he's still making records at all.

We’ve enjoyed the unique song stylings of talent show reject William Hung before: like Susan Boyle the man has managed to eke out a career from failure – although unlike SuBo none of his albums have hit the top spot and he has never been the recipient of a Guinness World Record. Anyway, we’re quibbling. Here’s William with The Little Drummer Boy from his second album, 2004’s Hung For the Holidays. 

I feel a bit conflicted about our final choice – after all the poor woman is clearly not well these days, as her recent appearance on Dr Phil showed – but this was recorded 25 years ago when she was still relatively sane. And besides, it’s absolutely awful. In 1991 actress Shelley Duvall (The Shining, Popeye) issued the thoroughly dreadful album Hello… I’m Shelly Duvall: Merry Christmas. Doing her best impersonation of Little Marcy, and attended by the obligatory children’s choir, Shelley’s bizarre album was followed by a further release: Hello… I’m Shelly Duvall: Sweet Dreams, although wither one of these albums is enough to give you nightmares. Here’s the award-winning actress with Gotta Be a Christmas... and if I had a wish it would be that the poor woman gets the financial and mental health support she needs this Christmas.

Have a fantastic Christmas, a cool yule and a thoroughly excellent New Year... and a huge thank you to all of you for all of the support, the suggestions and so on.


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